Disclaimer: please don’t send me hate mail saying, “He’s only a kid! How can you be so mean to him?” First of all, it’s all in good fun. And, second, I am a firm believer that you are allowed to lampoon anyone with that much money.
10. The singing I can handle. The 15,000 high-pitched, screaming girls I can do without.
9. Does Jimmy Osmond know they’ve used his DNA in a strange cloning experiment?
8. Now he’s rapping. Yes, you heard me correctly … rapping
7. More interesting song choices. “Wanna Be Startin’ Somethin’ “ … Yes, I’d like to start a propofol drip. (too soon?)
6. “Walk this Way” ? Really? Because when I think of Steven Tyler, I think of … well … I don’t know what I think of, but it’s not Justin Bieber!
5. Call me crazy, but I have a sneaky feeling he won’t be bustin’ out “Dude Looks Like a Lady” next.
4. Now, he’s playing some kind of percussion instrument. If he picks up a pair of maracas I may have a Davy Jones flashback.
3. If only I hadn’t been taller than him when I was 12, he would have forgotten all about that stupid Marcia Brady and gone out with me! (Sorry … still in the Davy Jones flashback mode).
2. He’s thrown his hat to a girl in the crowd. Now her friends are tearing her limb from limb
1. This is what I call stagecraft! He’s literally flying above the audience in some kind of open, heart-shaped contraption. What I wouldn’t give to see him return to the stage and dance around a small model of Stone Henge. (By the way, if you get that reference you can be my friend for life)
Stay tuned to my next blog for more adventures with Justin!
March 13, 2011 at 8:10 pm |
Very Funny. Enjoy your writing and humor.